Recently, it was determined by an exclusive panel of world leading scientists, philosophers and scholars that BEARHAWK is the greatest independent band currently in existence.
In fact, the sheer power of BEARHAWK's movement and message caused this very team to eschew their lab coats and doctorates, and take up playing the ukulele while wearing thick, itchy, woolen jumpers. That's what BEARHAWK is about. Liberation. Freedom. Twine.
We hope that BEARHAWK can inspire you to find your own inner thread, and weave magic on the spindle of your own heart.
Well today is the Big Day Out and for many hipsters its a very conflicting issue. A lot of hipsters scratch their heads wondering if it is actually a legitimate hipster congregation zone. Well, it is and it isn't. So lets focus on the pros and cons
Today we are going to take a look at hipster sex and sexuality. Or rather, lack thereof. Yes, thats right, if you truly are a hipster, then you will know that doing the deed is quite possibly the biggest faux pas of 2011.
Today we are going to talk about the Skeletons In Your Closet. If you are a true hipster you will have hundreds of them due to your unwavering desire to stay fashionable. But what to do with those ghouls of the past?
This week we take a look at Hipster foods. What are you allowed to put inside your body? Are Barbecue Shapes evil? Where are the most exclusive eateries? And what exactly IS "Pointless Steak"? - Eugene Clifford from BEARHAWK finds out
In this weeks episode, BEARHAWK's Eugene Clifford takes a look at the mental trauma experienced by Hipsters when engaging in the draining and energy consuming practice of scanning irony levels and fashion indexes - and what can be done to relieve the stress!
Poolside at BEARHAWK residency, the Bearhaus. This magical light display spontaneously erupted out of the pool during one of our neo-pagan rituals. It later formed into a caco-daemon, and went on a rampage throughout the neighborhood, terrorising, yet delighting the surrounding community.
BEARHAWK’s central time keeping mechanism at Spirit Wind studios in the Bearhaus. The interesting thing about this clock - which was designed by the Swiss time master Klaus Einwontraap - is that it is programmed to change time zones at random intervals. During a studio session, we can switch from Tokyo time to Morocco time instantly, and without warning. This affects the creative process dramatically and also ensures things are fresh. But it’s really started to mess with our TiVo. We now have 700 hours of “Fun with walls” to get through.
This was a photo taken during BEARHAWK’s journey into the Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður forest during 2005 to gather inspiration for the album Penetrate The Light With Wands Of Delight. Here, our Icelandic guide, Vrrgströeð, fends off invisible hostile spores that threatened to devastate our contingent. Apparently, if you breathe them in, they make you lose your sense of childhood wonder, and take away your desire to take photographs of every thing you see and upload them to all manners of social media networks. For 2005, they were ahead of their time. Thanks to Vrrgströeð, we still retain this ability - with GUSTO.
This cat, Malcolm, a friend of BEARHAWK’s, was born like this. However, later, he decided to fit in like all of the rest of the cats, and had himself dyed and got a job in an insurance brokerage. Quite sad really, considering his beautiful plumage and extensive knowledge of late 60’s proto-jazz. However, it shows us that conformity affects the feline community too, don’t think that animals are free by proxy.
Current arsenal of camera options for upcoming BEARHAWK documentary/exhibition. Strictly no-digital in these parts. Its not for any aesthetic reasons, but rather, medical ones. I have a rare, potentially explosive condition, called bitresdystheria, which prohibits me from interacting with any device that uses the numbers zero or one. As I cannot use a computer for fear that I may burst into small pieces, I actually record these posts into a small bird, who then translates them back to my webmaster, Crank.
Silvia Sliver, BEARHAWK’s resident mystic and part-time tax advisor. Here, she is consulting the oracle of the snake god, Horde-Rib, about BEARHAWK’s fiscal situation for the 2007-2008 financial year. The oracle delivered an image of a flaming triangle emerging from my beard, which signified that our outgoing claimables needed proper receipt verification to be considered legitimate.
For the 2002 BEARHAWK album ‘All Enshrined In Spice and Thyme’ , I commissioned the work of the hugely popular Danish wunderkind rhythm trio Fremtiden TilbageSektion. Here, Anders and Brede Walhertog, and Bergitte Jensen relax after an intensive 12-hour session, where we laid down around 134,000 takes of a single drum pattern. I ended up scrapping the files in the end, as my vision had changed. The trio then put a Danish curse on me, wherin for the next 6 months I would have nightmares of aggressive bread products. I don’t know if you have ever been attacked by an enraged, giant Pølsevogn, but it’s not nice.
A shot of my fourth wife, Nikkola Von-Paste. She was a Swedish model who was born with not only the deformity of having fish scales for legs, but also, her head was literally just a neck with a triangular pointy bit sticking out of the top. It made conversation difficult, which ultimately led to the divorce. But her breasts were exceptionally inspiring - they drove the concept behind BEARHAWK’s 52nd album “Ta-tas for Da-Da”.
The mystical Tudor cottage of Straply-Upon-Broadstead. BEARHAWK recorded the critically monstrous LP ‘Tweed Ghost’ here. However, due to the fact that this structure is 1/8th scale of a normal building, the band suffered considerable neck strain, and lawsuits are still in progress, so we can’t talk about that too much. However, bravely, our largish Tuba player, The Magestic Bronson, had his legs amputated for the recoding, so he could fit in.
Psychedelic dog named Alfred. Knew how to program a Moog Modular synthesizer at an expert level. Ate an entire bag of pool cleaner in 1997, gained cognitive function, and learned advanced interior design. Died in 2006 after massive pulmonary embolism when he realized he was actually a dog.
This is a portrait of the late, great Sumner Fellows, BEARHAWK’s B3 Hammond Organ master. This depiction was beautifully painted by Hitachi Onegashi after Fellows tragically died in 2005. I’m not sure what the crocodile means though, as Sumner died as a result of electrocution from touching three phase at one of our shows. Although it could explain the lightning bolts shooting from his eyes.